Monday, April 21, 2008

Every now and again I see this super beater van driving around. The van is covered in graffiti and the guy who drives it looks like a hybrid between a R.L. Stine book cover and Santa. Any time I see this van I am guaranteed witness to a ridiculous event.

Today I took my lunch early and walked home at a leisurely pace. I was traveling with my head in the clouds so I probably would have missed the van if it weren't for the bottomless old woman that got out right when I walked by. Attempting to mind my own business, I quickened my pace and made it a few feet in front of the van before I heard the old hag speak. She asked me for money. I turned, making eye contact with her before noticing that this old woman (maybe 70+) was straight up taking a violently gushing piss (it was like her water was breaking).

Needless to say, my lunch plans of eating a tuna sandwich were ruined.