Today I took my lunch early and walked home at a leisurely pace. I was traveling with my head in the clouds so I probably would have missed the van if it weren't for the bottomless old woman that got out right when I walked by. Attempting to mind my own business, I quickened my pace and made it a few feet in front of the van before I heard the old hag speak. She asked me for money. I turned, making eye contact with her before noticing that this old woman (maybe 70+) was straight up taking a violently gushing piss (it was like her water was breaking).
Needless to say, my lunch plans of eating a tuna sandwich were ruined.
