Interview Man: Mr. Breeder, is this a full display of your acting chops?
Dog Q. Breeder: No, there is no karate in this film.
Interview Woman: D.Q. what is your new film like?
Dog Q. Breeder: It is a lot like "Window Water Baby Moving" sans the baby and more placenta.

Tuesday Tangent 'Round The Internets: 2

-Why We Suffer. (religion)
-Richard Dawkins regarding the idiocy of Creationism. (video)
-Evolution of the blue-eye. (science)
-So, that's what it looks like. (video)
-That too. (picture)
-Politics explained through cows and milk. (politics)
-All this talk about food is making me hungry. (food)
-Fish wallets. (video)
-Norman Wisdom on acid. (video)
-The colors man. It's like they know everything. (quiz)

I've been experimenting with editing a lot lately. These are two videos for two techniques I have been working on. One, is like spin art but with film - I'm still trying to figure out how to make it work (and I need to find a more cheery way of incorporating it in a narrative). The second is animation - I have been working on a cartoon with MS Paint for the last month, this experiment was to see if it would work.

Tuesday Tangent 'Round The Internets: 1

-Important article on Iran. (news)
-Chill the fuck out. (news)
-I'm not religious but this picture is pretty providential. (news)
-Great pictures of things on walls. (pictures)
-Best pictures of 2007 + that picture of Shaun Livingston's knee. (pictures)
-Hilariously enough - a kid who has the same hair and knee problem is almost as painful to watch. (video)
-A waaaay better battle. (video)
-My friend Brendan made this - if you don't get it - you need to listen to Double Up, seriously.

So over the last few months I have been editing/adding stuff to Wikipedia (I have made almost 400 contributions). In my opinion it is the best site/database/resource on the internet. While the authenticity of Wikipedia is always in question - you just can't deny the plethora of amazing articles you can find there. Here are a couple of my recent favorites.

-List of TV series cancelled after one episode.
-List of self-contradicting words in English.
-Solipsism.
-The Big Rip.
-List of inventors killed by their own inventions.
-List of humorous units of measurement.
-List of jobs held by Homer Simpson.
-Ann Hodges.
-List of fictional computers.
-List of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles characters.
-Longest word in the English language.

However, none of these come close to the awesomeness of this next article.

-List of problems solved by MacGyver.

Where are you going to get facts like that? A dictionary? Pfff.

because laughing matters.

I woke up in the middle of the night. In a haze I squinted over to look at my alarm clock to check the time (because that is why we look at clocks right?) I read the word ERROR instead of 5:44. I thought something really bad must have happened. But, then I was asleep before I knew it, vulnerable (yet protected by dreams) to whatever catastrophe had caused an error in time.

Jon reminded me of a funny story last night. I gave him mono from sharing water bottles and various other drinks over the course of our coinciding winter breaks (during the 2004-2005 school year). He said he was so confused how he could have got mono since his girlfriend Daniella did not have it. After a conversation with Andrew they discovered he must have got it from me but since I was sleeping all day anyway. I never even knew I had it.

It was funnier when he told it.

December was definitely a really great month for me. Here are two videos that don't explain a single thing that I did. Enjoy.

This Is The Real Deal.
So I just got done watching "The New American Gladiators" and man... It is stupid.

When I was younger I would usually skip school and spend most of my day watching terrible daytime television. I'd start my day with Nick Jr. then move on over to USA to watch Press Your Luck, Major Dad, and MacGyver. It was definitely a solid block of television but the real gem was American Gladiators. It was a good time to be a douchebag kid.

So naturally I was a little curious about the new version (though I guess now that I am old enough to grasp the concept of steroids I am a bit grossed out), and while it was super lame, I did have a pretty good laugh. Especially since the Gladiators look like they were created by SEGA. What happened to Nitro and Zap? In the new one they have a turd named The Wolf, and some fake ass Maori war crying dude named Toa. The new class doesn't seem to carry the same campy omnipresence as the Gladiators of old.

Other things I hated: I didn't like the fact they tried to spin the typical reality show type drama in the mix. I don't give a shit that one contestant was a toilet paper saleswoman (she hurt her leg in the first event). In fact, the contestants were super lame, particularly the "skateboarder" from San Diego. And I really didn't care for the fact the contestants had pithy remarks for each interview that were obviously pre-written by the writers of the show.

Sigh, but I guess I am the real twat to be blogging about this in the first place.

So sorry about the hiatus (as if anyone reads this anyway), but with friends visiting, traveling, and working I haven't had much time for blogging. But, I'm back and mildly more entertaining.

Pimp C - Finally Free
12/29/1973 - 12/4/07

photo credit

This is that hot fire.
It is almost the end of the day, it is almost the end of the week, it is almost the end of the month, it is almost the end of the year. I'm ready.

Having lived exclusively in white trash neighborhoods for most my life has stunted my expectations for various things. The greatest example of this is rollerskating. Nearly every birthday party I remember going to seemed to be housed in some sort of bullshit roller rink. The consumer base could usually be found wearing Big Dogs, Top Dawg, or some sort of other dog related clothing. When they weren't gleefully skating along to any one of the Top 40 songs that the DJ was selecting off a party CD they could be heard yelling some shit about me or my clothing. Until last night, I sort of pictured that is what rollerskating was like all around the country.

But then I went skating in the hood...

The most notable difference can be found in the fact that Egyptian Lover was the fucking DJ. It was crazy to actually skate to music I like. Because of the music - people seemed to be dancing/gliding rather than just skating along. I saw so many amazing "moves" and "tricks" and I am not talking about the shit in that Dipset skate video. I mean "moves" like on the Roll Bounce tip.

Here is a poor example of all the fun I was having:



Nothing takes the edge off a long night of rollerskating than Curb Your Enthusiasm and a large strawberry soda.

This is Thanksgiving.

Other than the extra long weekend it provides, I'm not a big fan of Thanksgiving. However, I was able to turn this normally lonely holiday into a pretty fun day.

This morning, B and I volunteered for Gobble Gobble Give. I helped carve up/break down some turkeys, which was actually really gross. Later, I got to go around and hand out meals and clothes to homeless people in LA. It was awkward at first to ask someone if they needed food (I was worried I was going to ask someone who wasn't homeless but just disheveled looking and they'd take offense - luckily I guessed correctly) but after seeing how happy it was making people, my negative thoughts quickly dispersed.




I am thankful for: friends, parachutes, hamburgers, and having two ears.

I am not thankful for: spiders, having to breathe to live, and Mutant League Football for SEGA.

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This is an interesting segment about Thanksgiving from Russell Means' book titled - Where White Men Fear To Tread

Some people (and by some - I mean two) were wondering what I was up to while I took a break from my blog last week. Mainly, I was painting my room but here is a video of everything I was doing in between.



Also, a few people having been asking about my mullet. So here you go, I filmed this after I trimmed the back a bit so use your imagination to make the hair a bit more mullety. I should have filmed this when it was more gross, oh well.